Abby, our first dog

Rich and I both grew up with family dogs. When we were married, we looked forward to getting our first dog. However, our rental did not allow dogs, so we had cats and birds. We did not get our first dog until after Luc was born. When Luc was about 6 months old, we had just purchased our first home, and I brought Abby home. We were living in Kentucky, and border collie/Australian shepherd crosses were common there. I found her in the local shelter and surprised Rich with her.

Abby was a sweet dog, great with the cats, birds, and baby. I trained her up well, we would go for walks around town with her off-leash. I also taught her quite a few tricks. However, no matter how well trained she was in obedience, she had severe separation anxiety. Now, this was years ago, before dog trainers were as popular as they are now, and we did not have a dog trainer anywhere around. The internet was still dial-up, super slow and not near the information superhighway it is today. We crated her, she broke out and ended up bloody. When we left her in the house, even to talk to neighbors outside, she would try to bust through the door, window, or eat the drywall. She was so frantic that she would poop all over the household as well. I got books out of the library (again, 14 years ago, so not as many as there are today) and book store. Talked to the local dog people. The only thing I found was to train obedience to resolve behavior issues. So I trained her more. It did not resolve the issue.

After 8 months, I could not take it anymore. As much as we liked her, and looked forward to having our first family dog, I could not restructure my life – our life – anymore. I returned her to the shelter, where they told me they could take her into the back and kill her, and there was nothing I could do about it.

I found out later, from my veterinarian (there was only one in the town) that we were Abby’s third family and the shelter knew about her severe separation anxiety before they adopted her to us. However, she did find the perfect home. She lived out her life with a retired farmer, and went with him everywhere.

Abby taught me two big things. The first is that – no matter what – the home may not be the best home for that particular dog. The second is state of mind trumps obedience training. For all her training (remember, she was off-leash trained and very reliable with her commands), she was not in the right state of mind. This is why we focus on teaching calmness, not just commands.